I thought to myself as I teared up, "How does he know, at two years old, to be so sweet in that exact moment?"
But then I realized, that's exactly how we all treat him when he's not feeling well. We love him, we kiss him and we let him relax and get better. So of course he would respond the same way.
I started bartending at the restaurant I've been at for six years now. I've been a bartender before but just like serving in a new place, it is expected to know all drink recipes, bar prep and general bar etiquette and procedures in five very fast days of training. I'm hanging in there but yes, it's been very stressful. Xander's dad also took a new bartending job and his schedule has been absolutely fucking stupid to say the least. So it hasn't helped with the stress.
I started dating someone. And then it fell apart. And then it repaired itself. And now, I don't really know how to move forward. For the first time in a very, very long time, I feel like I have something - or someone - to lose. Like if I'm not able to hang on to this, I will experience true heartache. But relationships require so much specialized attention. And having to always put it second behind mom stuff can get stressful. I haven't mastered balance yet. Especially with a new relationship. Most people aren't as understanding as he is about the time I just simply don't have for him. But I feel something real there and I think he does too. So, we just keep putting forth the effort and I have to be very conscious about not fucking it up because of my own insecurities. It doesn't sound all that romantic... but somehow it actually is.
He watches everything people do. Back to Xander now... it's really amazing. Watching his personality and intellect develop first hand is something that I can't even explain. He will start counting out of nowhere or asking for cartoons by their actual episode names and I just stare at him for a minute like, "Who the hell are you? Weren't you just learning how to roll over?" It's neat.
Things are not mellow in my world right now. I knew the added responsibilities at work would take it's toll because I haven't done new things in a while. Holidays are always crazy. I'm like, SO far behind on The Voice.
He is, after all, my everything.