Saturday, January 29, 2011

I Can't Believe I Just Admitted That I Like Dating

If only I could bottle up the feeling of going out with someone that you are interested in for the very first time and sell it to the masses. I could make a zillion dollars… 

I love that feeling. One could probably even go as far as to say I can get a little addicted to it. Maybe this is the reason I find myself single over and over again. Mmm… no… not exactly. Because I also love the feeling of being with someone for a long time. I love the idea that I have someone who is thinking about me in the morning and at night - I love it even more when said person is planning their future and it includes me. 

What can I say? I love being in love. 

Falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world. This is why I've done it so many times. Skeptics have suggested that I've never truly been in love since I've never found "The One." Well, quite the contrary… not only have I been in what I know as true, honest, deep and compassionate love, I have found "The One." Many times, in fact. 

I've been very fortunate in my relationships. I have met and dated some incredible men in my life. I have learned so much from every relationship that I've been in. Even when they have ended unfavorably, I can honestly say that I don't have any regrets when it comes to the serious relationships I've been in. I have some regrets with men I've slept with… but that's not the same thing to me. 

I believe that we attract people into our lives for a specific reason at a specific time. Because of this belief, even if things don't work out (which is sad), an amicable friendship can grow if both parties realize that it simply wasn't a working relationship. I've gotten much better at communicating which makes this a lot easier than it did when I was simply a dumb kid trying to cause ripples. 

Perhaps this is why I don't stay single very long. Usually, when a relationship I've been in ends, I find myself feeling good about having time to be alone. I always tell myself "Enjoy being single for a while. It'll be good for you." It's not like I run out and immediately try to find another boyfriend. In fact, it's mostly the opposite. But, as awkward and uncomfortable and weird as dating is… I'm pretty good at it. 

A local paper in my neck of the valley is doing a Valentine's Day edition and asked readers to submit love stories, dating advice, etc. I figured what the hell - I submitted the blog I wrote when I first meant Jeremy, Don't Give Up... Don't Ever Give Up as well as the first two articles I published online as part of an online dating series; one about your profile and the other about theirs. I have since published a third about communication

One of the reporters from the newspaper called and did an interview with me about my online dating articles. I was pretty excited… more than that, though, I sounded like I really knew what I was talking about! Maybe all of this dating is starting to pay off… I mean, even if I haven't yet met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I can easily say that every relationship I've been in has been better than the one before. I make a very conscious effort to learn as much as I can from the relationships that don't work out and am very aware not to make the same mistakes. Or, in a less harsh way… I look at what's not working and make personal note of it. This way, I can focus on attracting something different by being something different. 

The big point I was trying to make with this reporter is that I base everything off of Universal Law and specifically the Law of Attraction. Those who know me well have heard me talk about this many times. And while I believe that this works in every aspect of our lives, tangible results can be seen almost immediately with online dating. Who you are in your profile will show itself to you based on the responses that you get. Now, don't get me wrong… there are people who simply respond to EVERYONE'S profile and aren't a good representation of what I'm talking about. However, those people can be weeded out pretty quickly. It's the ones that make a big effort that really show you who you are being when you put yourself out there. 

I'm fascinated by this. 

The reporter asked me if I was going to try online dating again now that I have found myself sans boyfriend once more. I think I told her that I probably would… but after further reflecting on this, I thought maybe I would hold off for a while and see what I can attract without the computer. Maybe it's time to step out from behind the curtain and see first hand, up close and personal, the kind of person I am being based on who shows up in my space. Could make for some interesting writing, that's for sure. 

Online dating will always be there and like I said before, if I end up going back to this as a way to meet someone, at least I know I have that feeling to look forward to again. Because for every negative, there is a positive. Break up… first date. Break up… first date. Break up… well, you get the point. And frankly, the rollercoaster is not as awful as it sounds. 

I learn so much from break ups… and the thought that one day, Mr. I Have It All will, in fact, find me is something that I am absolutely confident will happen. 

Yes, guys… I can't speak for all girls, but I can definitely say that when you go out with me, I am taking notes. Lots of them. I only hope you are doing the same.


  1. 99% of all my relationships have been from online dating, and honestly for me, even that was awkward. I cant even be cool online!! LoL Another interesting stat for me, though they lasted for awhile the online relationships never ended that great. The one that did end well, was a "hey guess what just plopped into my lap?". Help me shifu! Youre my only hope! ;)

  2. My advice is always the same - if you want something different, you have to do something different. Or... be something different. Sometimes this means getting uncomfortable. Do I need to bring up the word stretch??? Focus on being the kind of person that you want to have come into your life and in your mind's eye, picture what this looks like. Have an emotional attachment to it. Be committed to it and while I can't guarantee that it will show up tomorrow, it will show up.

    Have faith.. you are a great catch.

    Did you read my online dating articles? There might be something helpful in there as well!

    Love you, Danny!! xo

  3. Not sure why I'm having comment posting issues... but my friend sent this to me via Facebook and I just had to share - thanks for the feedback!!

    (From Erin)

    "For some reason it won't let me comment on your blog.

    But I wanted you to know, that in all honesty if you hadn't been there to coach me with Brian, we would never have ended up together. If you hadn't reminded me that I needed to do something different then I normally would I wouldn't have asked him to see a zombie movie. If you hadn't helped me relax and reminded me to just be me, I know I would have botched it up. You didn't do it for me, but you helped me keep my head in the game, as any good coach should.

    I'm not sure what your track record is as a dating coach, but you can say you have 1 long term couple with a Bean on the way and a wedding in November. Not to shabby.

    Also you are way funnier then Dr. Phil and a hell of a lot better looking.
    I'm jus' sayin'. ;)"

    :) Thanks, Erin!!