Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Resolution #2: "I've Got Big Teeth And I Cannot Lie"

On our very first date, Jeremy asked me what was wrong with my teeth. It made me uncomfortable, but I blew it off since everything else was going so well that night. I didn’t really think about it again until we were in Lake Tahoe and he asked me what I would do about them if I were ever to become a famous writer and have to be in the public eye. 

Not a day has gone by since then that I haven’t been self conscious about my smile. 

I don’t really hold it against Jeremy. In fact, one of the things I liked so much about him was his honest approach to everything. I’m still not completely convinced that it’s the kind of conversation you should have with your new girlfriend, but then again, I have made some odd decisions in my past relationships as well. So who am I to judge or feel offended? Ahem... 

In all seriousness, though... I have always felt a little uneasy about my teeth and my smile. I always thought it was the one thing about myself that I disliked but could fix. In my late teens and early twenties, my wisdom teeth started pushing through and after ignoring what was going on for so long, eventually my front teeth had moved together and forward in a position that I consider... less than desirable. I never thought it was that big of a deal until just recently. And now, it’s something I can’t stop thinking about. 

I’m embarrassed about the idea of wearing braces. A few people have told me about the Invisilign thing, but I think the most efficient and economic choice for me is going to be good old metal mouth. I know that, these days, braces don’t have to be worn for so long, and I’m probably only looking at a couple of years... but as a 31 year old woman, the idea of getting braces makes me feel pretty strange. 

However, then I start thinking about being uncomfortable every time someones says something funny. Or whenever I need to have my picture taken. I wonder what would be worse - spending a couple of years feeling sheepish and insecure or spending the rest of my life feeling like I can’t laugh the way I want to or flash my pearlies for all the world to see. 

Resolution #2: 2012 Looks Like A Great Year For A Healthy Smile 

I haven’t yet decided how I want to go about it. My hairdresser swears by the college of orthodontics but my benefits are decent and the new Modern Dentistry that opened right by my house sounds good too. I’m probably looking at thousands of dollars in dental work to get the smile I want... but I am finally ready to take care of my teeth and set myself up for a future of happy dentist appointments. 

Oh my God. A happy dentist appointment? It almost seems impossible. Then again, so does the day that I laugh out loud at something funny without having to cover my mouth. 

Thanks, Jeremy. Oh shit... did that sound sarcastic? I really didn’t mean it... I truly mean thanks. 

Thanks a lot. 



  1. My mom had braces in her 70's, my sister in her 30's and my other sister in her 40's. You will be so happy you did it. Also, not everyone is a candidate for invisalign, if that helps any. Good for you!!!!