Friday, December 30, 2011

Resolution #4 - I Make HOW Much Each Month? No Way!!

I really wanted my fourth resolution to be something like “I’m going to focus more on my art” or “I’m going to get serious about my writing”. However, both of those things seem like they are chores and I don’t really feel very passionate about either one. I’ve made resolutions about them before and they end up just feeling like weights that I’m carrying around. 

The resolutions I am making this year are specifically designed to get me excited and motivated. The truth is, drawing is just something I like to do when I feel like it - and I don’t always feel like it. And I’ve said this many times before - the only kind of writing I am interested in doing is this blog. Therefore, I have decided to take on something a little more personal. 


Ugh... I love to gamble. I love how exciting it is when I win. I love the calming monotony of pressing those buttons as I’m winding down from a long day at work. I love the free drinks. 

I don’t love how rarely I actually win. I don’t love how drunk I get from those “free” drinks (weird how we think they are free after spending $100 on Video Poker. “Yes, can I get another $20 Bud Light, please?). I don’t love that I say I’m going to the bathroom and then sneak away to the ATM. I don’t love waking up the next morning feeling bad, once again, about how much I’ve spent. I don’t love realizing that I can’t go grocery shopping until I work again because all of my tip money now belongs to Big Dog’s Brewing Company or Sante Fe Station. I don’t love that it has so much control over me. 

I would love to say I’m not going to gamble for the entire year. But that’s not what I want either. I want to be able to learn to tell myself “that’s enough”. I admire that very much about Tim. When he gets paid, he allows himself a certain amount to gamble and then he stops. 

Wait.. you stop? Even if you haven’t won anything? Unbelievable!!! 

There are a LOT of things I want to accomplish this year and many of them revolve around having enough money. I make good money - I just don’t know it because I spend it so frivolously in those damn slot machines. “Just another $20” never seems like that big of deal at the time. Five of those statements later, and I have to pick up another shift just to make rent. 


On the other hand, one of the really neat things about Las Vegas is the fact that one lucky hit (like a few bucks into his twenty, Tim hits a six spot and his half of the rent is covered - only in Vegas) can make a real difference. Plus, I’m not making these resolutions in order to be miserable. And did I mention how much I love gambling? 

Resolution #4: Know when to say when 


This will be my monthly gambling budget. I know, I know... doesn’t sound like I’m sacrificing, right? Well if I am making my budget $100, you can probably imagine how much I’m currently throwing away... ugh, my stomach literally just turned... 

Like Tim just told me - wouldn’t it be nice to know at the end of each month that I only spent $100 instead of... um, yeah... let’s just leave it at that. 

Why yes it would. It’s also nice to know how much more I could have if I wasn’t blowing it all on that Bonus Crack - err... I mean Bonus Poker. 

Like a house. Or a new wardrobe. Or a stationary Spin cycle. Or a dog. Or a vacation. Or a new couch. Or a football game. Or a nice dinner. Or a new car. 

I could go on and on... and this is a MUCH more entertaining way to be monotonous. 

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