Tuesday, June 16, 2015

"Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." - Jim Rohn

Well, it’s officially happening. 

I had lunch with a friend yesterday that I hadn’t seen in ages. We talked about babies and “momming” for almost two hours. 

Friends I used to hang out and drink with all the time are now greeted by a brief nod as we pass each other at work. 

I scroll my Facebook feed and instead of the newest craft beer being released or the next gathering to hit up, I’m checking out deals on cloth diapers and making sure my wash routine is up to par. 

After an insanely busy week at work, I spent my time off waking up early to garage sale for baby stuff, clean the house and put together things in the nursery. 

I spent more time at Joann’s craft and fabric store last week than I did at the gym. 

I’ve always hated shopping. Now, I can’t wait to get new maternity clothes. I love the way my body looks with this big round belly. 

I don’t miss beer. I don’t miss smoking. I have no desire to gamble. I have more money in the bank than I’ve had in years. 

My mom has officially become my best friend. 

Someone made a comment about how she never thought it would happen but that all of my Facebook posts are about baby stuff now. I almost had to tear her face off. 

And this? This is becoming a fucking Mom-Blog. 

Because after all those years of knowing I was right, of thinking all of you were crazy, of being convinced that I would never, ever be like you, hear I am, admitting that I was wrong. 

This being pregnant business is cool as shit. 

Now, I’m pretty lucky. I still feel awesome and haven’t experienced any kind of sickness. If hormones are affecting my emotions, I’m not really noticing as I’m pretty much happy all the time. All of my doctor’s appointments have gone great and my weight gain is completely normal. I sleep well, I wake well, I eat well and I bathroom well (TMI, I get it). 

I’m getting my ass handed to me at work on a daily basis but am taking the stress of it in stride as there is so much to be excited for. And of course, all the extra money is helping in my preparation for little Xander’s arrival. 

One of my friends told me that I really look like I’m enjoying my pregnancy and she is right. I understand I have the toughest months ahead of me and then a lifetime of challenges to follow. But right now, I truly am enjoying being pregnant. I’m not in a hurry for anything. It’s a really cool feeling. 

The idea that my world has changed and that the landscape of my relationships will continue to change sometimes gives me cause for concern. After all, every friend I’ve ever had has always meant a lot to me. But, over a year ago, when I asked the universe to give me something to look forward to in life, a goal that would draw me out of my ambivalent and often drunken stupor, a reason to be a good person again, I knew that changes would be inevitable. And besides, they say your true friends will always be there for you. I suppose time will tell. 

In the meantime, I don’t feel a void. My heart feels as big as my belly and the future looks bright. 

In all my years, I never thought I’d be saying this but... 

Yup. You told me so.